who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Randomize
