i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
