i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
