I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
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So squirting runs in the family.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
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I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I FOUND THE LEGS
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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