just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize