Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
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the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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