he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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