forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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