Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
