He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
