i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize