How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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