mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
