also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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