I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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