I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
