Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
