My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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