I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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