like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I can't turn off my feet"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize