I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
