I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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