I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
