I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
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