***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
