Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
