Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
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I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
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There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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