Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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