So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
