i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
