I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
