I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
worst night to have a conscience
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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