And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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