4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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