You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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