do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
