he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
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He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
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Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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