chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
