My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Randomize
