Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
