My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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