thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize