I look better un-naked...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
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Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
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She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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