at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize