therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
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Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
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We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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