adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
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I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
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He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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