i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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