i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
