So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
