Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
