you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?â€
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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