Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that