I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
