she looked like the bat from fern gully.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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