Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
