Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
