1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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