i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
