nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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